About assertive communication

Many of the most stressful or troubling elements of our lives involve other people. The ability to communicate effectively with others is an essential life tool - or more precisely, it is a full set of life tools.

We often find ourselves communicating in ways that do not serve us. We ignore our own needs or wants, we cross our own or others’ boundaries, we agree to unreasonable demands, and we have difficulties receiving or giving feedback.

There are four basic communication styles:

• Passive. An avoidant style designed to prevent conflict - at any expense to ourselves.

• Aggressive. An invasive style that attempts to control other people, but in an ineffective manner.

• Passive aggressive. A fearful style aimed at getting what one wants in an indirect manner.

• Assertive. A direct, kind, open style that communicates respect for ourselves and for other people.

You can learn more about these styles from the videos below.

Difficulty in using the assertive style can be a component of many life difficulties: Social anxiety, stress, burnout, relationship discord, depression, and more.

Becoming more assertive can seem daunting. But it is simply a set of skills that can be learned and practiced. At Changeways Clinic, our clinicians can help you identify areas where you communicate less effectively than you might like, and fill the gaps with skills and strategies tailored to the specifics of your own life.